IDIOT FREE PRESS
stultus ex machina

Bort Flannagan
Big science men make big lies, again.
In a revelation that has left scientists, educators, and round-Earth believers worldwide reeling, NASA has allegedly confirmed what flat-Earth theorists have been claiming for years: the world is, in fact, flat. But the revelations don't stop there. According to the same sources, our planet is also surrounded by a colossal ice wall and covered by an immense dome that we perceive as the sky.
The news broke early this morning when an anonymous source within NASA leaked a series of documents suggesting that the space agency has been aware of the Earth's true shape for decades but has kept it under wraps due to "potential societal implications."
"NASA has been perpetuating the round-Earth myth for years," the source claimed. "But the truth is, we've known the Earth is flat since the early days of space exploration. And the ice wall? It's real. So is the dome."
The leaked documents include alleged photographic evidence of the Earth's flatness, the ice wall, and the dome, as well as detailed reports on how NASA has supposedly manipulated images and data to maintain the illusion of a spherical Earth.
Flat-Earth theorists are celebrating the news as a vindication of their long-held beliefs. "We've been saying it for years, and now it's finally out," said Joe Flatman, a prominent flat-Earth advocate. "The world is flat, and NASA can't hide it anymore. The ice wall, the dome, it's all real."
The documents also suggest that the global elite have been aware of the Earth's true shape and have been actively working to hide it from the public. "The ice wall and the dome have been kept secret to maintain control," the source added. "It's a conspiracy of epic proportions."
Speculation is rife as to why the global elite would want to hide the world beyond the ice wall. Some suggest it's a utopian paradise, reserved only for the wealthiest and most powerful. Others believe it's home to extraterrestrial life or even the lost city of Atlantis.
As for why the round Earth lie has been propagated, theories range from the plausible to the absurd. Some suggest it's a simple matter of control - a round Earth, after all, is easier to map and govern. Others, however, posit more humorous reasons. "Maybe they just thought a round Earth would look better on a logo," joked Flatman. "Or perhaps they didn't want to admit they'd been wrong all these years."
However, not everyone is convinced. Many in the scientific community are questioning the authenticity of the leaked documents, suggesting they could be part of an elaborate hoax.
"This is nothing more than a conspiracy theory," said Dr. Jane Rounder, a renowned astrophysicist. "The evidence for a spherical Earth is overwhelming. These so-called 'leaked documents' are clearly fabricated."
The White House has yet to comment on the alleged revelation, and NASA has not confirmed the authenticity of the leaked documents. However, if the claims are true, they could fundamentally change our understanding of the world and the universe beyond.
As the debate rages on, one thing is clear: the world - flat or round - will never be the same again.